Back by popular demand…Martha Stewart Crafting Section #2
Today we will learn how to make replicas of three items from the J. Crew fall fashion line. Annie get your glue gun! Now let’s get down to business:
The beautiful bon bon dress is part of the J. Crew Collection and retails for $268. It’s short and sweet and draws inspiration from a Hershey’s kiss. The skirt portion is made of “lightweight lamé from the Goutarel mill in France known for its exquisite fabrics,” which might be a little tough to obtain for your personal crafting needs. So I am sending you to the supermarket. Pick up 8 bags of Hershey’s kisses in signature silver. Carefully unwrap each one with impeccable care so not as to tear the pretty paper. Once you have smoothed out 268 wrappers simply glue them together and voila! you are in the bon bon business.
*Martha Stewart Secret…melt the chocolate kisses down. Pour into your brand-new ultra-sterilized outdoor fountain. Dig out the fondue forks from France and throw a nice little garden party complete with chocolate fountain…it’s a very good thing, until you have to clean it up.
Next, we will do some upcycling. That means, using something we were about to throw away and turning it into something wonderful we will cherish forever! First, dig up that ugly plaid itchy wool blanket you used to complain about sitting on as a kid at the fireworks.
Fiona, get your Fiskers! Drape your tartan blanket around your shoulders as if you were pretending to be Harry Potter donning an invisiblity cloak. If your poncho appears too long, cut the bottom hem haphazardly until you reach the desired length. Now, you will need to steal an old brown belt from someone and cut it up to form the buckle. That’s really all there is to it!
3. The appropriately named Tassel Rope Necklace
As the name implies, to make this Turkish treasure all you need is rope and tassels! See how fast you can save $175?
Whatever are you going to do with all that money you saved? Use that lettuce to support your shoe fetish! Here are some of my favorites:
You might also want to treat yourself to the Martha bracelet…named after our favorite girl Martha Stewart! (Jenna wore this stunning Swarovski crystal bracelet on The Martha Stewart Show.)
Thanks for tuning in! I just discovered a great Jezebel post on the new Crew Catalog. Read it here: http://ow.ly/2xEjr for descriptions like:
- $1200 jackets made from the hide of Snuffleupagus, may he rest in peace.
- Cutting off your sweat pants, turning them into shorts, wearing them with long socks and heels and playing it off like it doesn’t look absurd.
- Mixing and matching accessories that have a bordello-chic vintagey vibe, as though grandma was a pricey hooker.
And another hilarious one: http://ow.ly/2xExP on “Life in Neon” takes you on a journey through the entire September catalog riddled with spot-on criticisms and and equally spot-on standing ovations like:
- This cover is giving all kinds of The Queen is Dead meets the lobby of an off-highway hotel, multiplied by jelly beans and a muppet. Love it.
- Stop. Stop right now. Stop. Walk away. Actually, come back: can someone pleaseeee tell me more about this Reversible Italian Cashmere Cocoon Popover? I’ve been dreaming about this all of my life. It is BEAUTIFUL.
- Ashley. Wedding specialist. Can you SHOW the dresses instead of cutting them off halfway? They’re wedding dresses, not play toys.
Seriously read both of these Crew Catalog posts in their entirety! Have you laughed today? (No, this is not a slimy cheese commercial).